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Goodbye to a Jihadist

Well, it looks like police officers in Paris, France dispatched another Sword of Allah to his eternal resting place this past Friday as he attempted to attack a police station with a meat cleaver. While I still have questions about his apparently diminished mental capacity, I know I will miss his pleasant toothless smile and matted tufted face. In light of the sexual carnage being meted out in Europe by males of Middle Eastern, and statistically Muslim, ethnicity, our fallen Sword will find it hard to claim his 72 virgins, let alone find that number anywhere in his Martyr’s Paradise. In a related matter, the Association of Heavenly Islamic Virgins-in-Waiting has announced that because of greatly increased martyr arrivals and a continuing paucity of female virgins (or virgins of any sex) it will be accepting new members from Capra aegagrus, Camelus bactrianus, and the ever-popular Camelus dromedarius. Dr. Doolittle could not be reached for comment, although a spokesman expressed condolences to the named species.